Don't be sorry, be better.

There is zero chance you haven’t read an article (or at least a headline) about women over-apologizing for shit they don’t need to apologize for.

It’s an incredibly common phenomenon. Women are socialized to defer to everyone else, and it ends up making us apologize for our very existence.

“I’m sorry I’m taking up too much space.” “I’m sorry I’m busy.” “I’m sorry I’m in your way.” “I’m sorry your pen clicking makes me want to rip your throat out.” (side note: stop clicking your damn pens. Fidgeting makes you look uneasy and unsure, and that habit is INCREDIBLY annoying. Please, please, please, stop.)

UGH. It’s exhausting to apologize all the time. So I’ve been trying to stop. Holy shit is is hard. I want to apologize for EVERYTHING. I make a mistake in my yoga sequence that nobody noticed? Sorry! I didn’t prioritize a meeting and now I don’t have time for it? Sorry! I bumped into you even though you were the one in the way? Sorry!

I’m annoying just writing that out.

It’s a tough exercise, but I’m convinced it’s worth it. Since I’ve been making this effort, I’ve noticed that I feel more strongly about my convictions, I take more responsibility for my time and priorities, and my apologies are more sincere.

The biggest one for me is apologizing for my time. “I’m sorry I’m busy” is probably one of the most common phrases out of my damn mouth. But no longer.

I’m taking ownership of my time. There is absolutely, 100%, enough time to do everything I want to. That’s true for everyone.

Nope, stop. It’s true for everyone.

We fill our days with our priorities. Whether they’re the priorities they need to be is different entirely.

I had time to do laundry last night, but my priority was spending an evening with my husband and watching Archer.

I had time to go to a meeting this afternoon, but my priority was staying on task and finishing up a project.

I had time to hang out with my friends, but my priority was taking a bubble bath and spending time by myself.

We all get busy. But, we make time for what’s important to us.

We make time for what’s important to us.

One more time.

We make time for what’s important to us.

There will be times when a project takes longer than expected, or traffic is worse than expected, or you linger in the bath longer than you thought you would, but those aren’t excuses.

We have to take responsibility and ownership of our time, and be real about it.

Instead of “I’m too busy to go to the gym,” take a minute and think about why. Is it because you’d rather veg and watch Friends for the thousandth time? This isn’t a guilt trip, that’s totally cool with me. But it’s important to know, and to make those decisions consciously.

Then there’s no need to apologize.

“I wanted to take that yoga class with you, but I needed a long bath instead” is so much more real than “I’m sorry I missed yoga, I was sooo busy.”

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